I'm not happy. No idea what I'm thinking.My birthday is coming, baby kept remind me of that. He's asking me how to celebrate but i kinda ignore. I got no plan in mind. I just thought of having dinner with the family, loved ones and close ones. That's all.
Is it that weird if I'm doing this for my 21st birthday? Please don't say yes...
What's going on with me? Nothing
I'm going 21, and its a shit to me.
Guess everyone is making big plan for this happening age as finally getting the golden key but i feel nothing.
I feel bad.
Feel bad in I'm going 21 but i haven't got all the things i want.
I want some achievement that I'm really proud with. Hell no for now. Perhaps...
Am i greedy or what?
I'm earning my own to survive as i dint ask pocket money and shopping fee from dad anymore but then i want it more and more to be freeze inside my bank account.
I'm working in the field i like but i don't take that as my future.
I'm studying in what i really love but its stretching me.
Life get harder to me as my age is increasing. =(
Is this happen to me only or everyone?
I still remember when i was 19 turning to 20 that week.
I cant sleep well during the whole week. It was my worst birthday ever.
I broke up, the ex drag me in miserable relationship for 2 mths plus after March.
I live in mess, aimless as i cant accept the fact.
My study also fucked up for that period.
My health being threaten as i really decrease loads of weight that i couldn't imagine. (but I'm happy tho)
I'm afraid that my friends gonna tag their friends out with me for that period as what stupid excuses "fact" my ex told me. Thank god i feel so ok with it now.
I'm afraid to go home before midnight.
I'm afraid to be alone in my room.
I'm afraid of everything because of the break up.
And there it goes, one year pass and reach.
Is really fast...
5 days to go, then it will be my big day.
How i wish...i could stop the time...
......when my baby kissing my forehead wishing me happy birthday.
0 comments:
Post a Comment